Dating Then & Now

In this episode of The Bond, we talk about dating then vs now—sharing experiences, lessons, and a little advice along the way. From old-school love to modern dating struggles, this one is real, honest, and worth the listen.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Bond Beyond. A mother-daughter podcast where real conversations, real love, and real life meet.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

I'm Rashida. I'm Tassiday. Here we talk about the Bond that goes beyond generations, beyond expectations, and beyond words. Welcome, welcome, welcome to this episode. So we're we're gonna put a little twist in it, you know, get a little emotional, get a little personal, have some fun. We're gonna be doing dating then versus now. Who's out there dating? Raise your hand. Even if you're in a car, you can raise your hand. You got one hand on the wheel, so you're good. So you know I hey, I am still dating, but I'm dating my husband. Um, it's very important to still date when you are in a relationship. Consider yourself boyfriend and girlfriend, partners, whatever subjects and titles you put to it. Um, once you get engaged and once you're married, and even when you have the kids, get out, still date each other because it's very, very, it's so very, very important to do so. So, yeah, so let's get started. I have like just so many things. So many things. Um, I've dated a lot, I have dated a lot. Alrighty! So here we go. Oh so the first thing that came to my mind are dating apps. So obviously, when I started dating, there was no apps back in the day. You met people at work, if you went out on the weekends, restaurant, bars, maybe you know, if you did some event with a friend or a friend had a friend or something like that. I wish that still happened. Um, I mean, there were apps when I was still single. Uh, some of them were hookup apps, uh, some of them were apps where you truly could find someone, but you have to pay a fee. And who wants to pay a fee to do that? Oh, the one thing I've always wanted to do, still never did it. What is it, Tass? Um for the dating. Oh, uh, speed dating. Yes! Yes, yes, yes. I always ask Andrew, if somebody wants to go speed dating, can I just go with them and like pretend? I've always wanted to try that out because I thought that was pretty cool. So that's like a an in-person app, really. But there are those things. Like if you find them on social media, they do have different events where you singles night. Yeah, like you can meet certain people. And I, of course, I come across it and things like that, but I think they're pretty cool. All the different types of meetups are not just at bars because not everybody's a drinker. Um, so they're at like, you know, painting museums, um, things like that. So I've seen that. But speed dating, always wanted to do it, never did, because that's not something for me personally I would go to by myself as a single person. I would want a single friend to come with me.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

So we could experience that together, but I won't get to have that experience. But you know, it's all good. So, what do you think about like the apps and things like that? Because that's the first thing that popped in my head.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

So growing up like in high school, because I didn't date until ninth grade of high school.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

So like it was easier then because I saw the people every day, and I could talk, get to know someone deeper, hang out with them, go to parties with them, the movies, dinner. School's easy. Yeah, school was easy to like connect and actually date. Um, and then my second relationship was in college. There's apps that you just hook up, and then the newer apps I enjoy. Because one, the girl has to initiate the talking, so that's fine. That's a good one. And then there's one right now that I'm on that it's both. Like you just start the conversation.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

So one with the girl who has to initiate, is there a fee for that? Or is that one free?

SPEAKER_00 3:43

It's a fee if you want to see the person, if you want to see more than one person. If you want to see your options of who likes you.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Okay. Gotcha. On every app.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

Are they reasonable pricing or are they just ridiculous pricing?

SPEAKER_00 3:55

They're reasonable. $4.99, $10.99 a month. Okay. Yeah. Gotcha. And you can pay extra to have extra roses if you really like a guy. Oh god. Rose. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

So you're giving roses to him in the app? Uh-huh. Oh, okay. Shouldn't be the other way around. Well, both. Oh, okay. They can give you roses too. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:13

There's no like they really like you. Oh, okay. You can just like, or a rose is like almost like a heart, but it's a rose.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

That's what I was saying. There's like no heart, thumbs up, and then a heart like you do with other social media things.

SPEAKER_00 4:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

That's funny. That's the other thing about social media. The heart doesn't mean I always love it. Like, could there be another option? Like, this is cool, but I don't know which shape that would be. Or you're cool. I have no clue. But okay. I feel like apps, once again, are just very interesting. Um, because there's because there's so many options out there. And then two, I know like there's you see like the websites for certain things too. So I don't know if there's still websites out there that you can do dating things and all that stuff. So there's one back in the day that there was a fee, and you know, you could have it for like 30 days and it would renew every 30 days and things like that. So but okay. Alright, the apps. Oh, you started dating in ninth grade. Did I have rules about dating?

SPEAKER_00 5:13

Yes, you did. What were my rules? Um, I would say the only like strict rule, well, it wasn't strict, but like the rule you had was communicate where you're going, who you're going with. Gotcha. And then like if they were over the house, keep our bedroom doors open and just be respectful of that. But other than that, you didn't really have many rules. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

I don't think I gave you like a restriction, like you can't date till you're in ninth grade, or you can't because that makes you even want to do it more. Yeah, and that's a thing. That's why I didn't do because me growing up, you tell me I can't do something, oh, watch me, I'm gonna do it. So, and I think that's why I didn't do that with you guys. Like very laid back, relaxed. Obviously, there's rules, respect, and things like that. Yeah. But if I felt like I told you you couldn't do something, then you want to do it, and it would end up being worse and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

So well, the only thing is like I liked how you allowed them to sleep over. Gotcha. Um, but like when I told you.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Oh, the audience is probably freaking out. You what? You let them sleep over? No, no. I did that because when I was that age, I snuck around. I got myself in trouble, I did things I shouldn't have done at the age I was at. But even when they slept over, the door still had to be open. Was I knocked out when it was time to go to sleep? Oh, most definitely I was. Yeah. But I felt as though that my daughter respected me enough to make sure who she was dating at the time was that person. And it wasn't just randos, like when she was in relationship, she was serious, and that was the you knew who they were, they knew who you were. And I knew their family, like all those things. So it wasn't like that. Now, if we're talking about the middle child, that's a whole different story. Um, but yeah, no, just you know, very respectful with it. So yeah, so so sorry.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

When I would let them sleep over, yeah, because when other like my friends and stuff, they're like, What? Your mom lets you do that. I'm like, yeah. I'm like, I'm not sexually active, so yeah. They're like, oh, okay. Because they're different. Yeah, they're like, what?

SPEAKER_01 7:14

Yeah, hell, that was my mom, da da da da. So that's funny. But no, I get it. I get it, I get it. Now that brings me to my next point. You said that, you know, you weren't sexually active. I know that some people, you know, sex before marriage is forbidden and things like that. So I will obviously, I was a single mom at age 20, so I had sex before marriage. My mom told me growing up, if I got pregnant before the age of 18, I would have to give my child up for adoption. I got pregnant at 19. So there we go. I get to keep my child. She should have taught me, as I taught you all, that it is not an easy road to follow. Because she was a single mom, then I was a single mom. Like I had to just stop that cycle. Um, and I'm very proud. I have a 27-year-old, a 21-year-old, and a 19-year-old, and they have zero children. So I'm very, very proud. And not knocking anyone out there who has children the same age as my children, and you're already a grandparent, or your child has a child. I'm not knocking that. I'm talking about me, my experience, and my family is what I'm talking about. But I did not want that for them because you struggle. Now, hey, kudos. If your child is out there and they got kids and they're in a strong relationship and they got their own car and they're paying their own bills and they live by themselves. Shout out to you for pushing that. Once again, to each his own. But I didn't want them living with me with their kids. I didn't want homeboy coming over and living there too. Like it, I just didn't want all those things for them. So I made sure that they understood what sex was, what it means, who you should have it with, and things like that. Once they step out the door and go wherever, I have no control over that at all whatsoever. But I hoped and I prayed that they would do the right thing. We are God-fearing women, we are Christians, we are all sinners, but God forgives us each and every day. That is what we see, that is what we believe, and that's how we live our life. So, in doing so, obviously they knew I had it before marriage. Um, and God love my husband for marrying me. I never thought I'd be married, but I'm grateful for that. But doing so in that thing, having sex before marriage, once again, that's everybody's thing.

SPEAKER_02 9:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

It's all different. Some people wait, some people don't. You could have been in a long-term relationship thinking you were getting married in the long run and started doing that with that person. Next thing you know, you're no longer together. So on and so forth. So the road is different for everybody. Like I said, I've raised my children differently. Um, and hopefully, if they are sexually active, they are practicing safe sex um and doing all the things that they need to do, you know, to take care of themselves and the person that they're with. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

So yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Birth control. Yes. Yeah. That's safe sex. There's so many different ways besides birth control. You're special. You're special, you're special. All right. A gentleman.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

Ready at though.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

I married one, and I knew the difference immediately because he was a gentleman to me. He didn't push me into getting into the bed with him. He wanted to hang out, get to know me and my children. He wanted to go to the movies, he wanted to go out to eat. He wanted me to come to his house, he came to my house. We're like months in. I'm like, what's wrong with this dude? Something, what's going on? Because unfortunately, I've never been treated that way. They all just wanted to go straight into the bed or whatever the case may be. And it's just, it's horrible. Like, it was just so horrible. I was getting too old for it, couldn't stand it. But finding Andrew, such a true gentleman, that he was patient, he was kind, he treated us with respect and did amazing things, and he's still that way to this day. And I did not know what that was like until I met him. So very, very grateful that I met him. And I cannot wait until you meet your gentleman.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Where he at though? Because it's not, hey, can I get a kiss when you go on your first a date with this person? Hey, let's do this. Hey, no, like we don't even know each other yet. Nope. Like, let's talk, let's become friends because you should become friends with the person that you're dating. Exactly. So that if the relationships end, it's cordial. It's not bashing calling names or doing things. So if you see them in the future, oh hey, such and such. Hey, test it as count's gone good. And you just move along. That's it. Just yeah. So a gentleman. What's it who's what's the definition of gentleman? Of a gentleman. To you.

SPEAKER_00 12:03

That's a good one. I would say someone who gen genuinely genuinely wants to get to know me, like, not asking me to kiss them on a first day. That's a red flag right there. Um I just, I don't know. Like, I I don't know. Like, I want someone to always be there no matter what. Like, and I want to build that in a friendship because like my friends and my friends and family are everything to me. Yeah. And I want my partner to be everything to me as well. Because I would genuinely want them to be my best friend that I can talk to them about anything, cry. Um, like if I'm stressed, talk to them about it, and they help me give me advice, not try to find a solution. Cause that's no, that don't work. But like just listening, like someone who listens, like that is what I'm looking for. Yes. And it is hard. Yeah. It is rough out here. Cause, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

And I think too, I feel like and we're gonna say that C word again, but since COVID, yeah, things have changed completely. Yes, it has. I mean, people are still, everyone's going back out, still having fun, going to events, hanging out with friends, you know, doing the barbecues, swimming at the pools, all the things. But some people don't know how to talk to people anymore. Some people are so anxious because someone actually wants to talk to them and they don't know how to react to that. Like, there's so many different pieces and puzzles to like solve with that. So it is truly, truly hard to, you know, to find someone because you own your own business, so you're not going into work every day and seeing A, B, C, and D becoming friends with them, building a relationship or whatever. So, excuse me, that is definitely a difficult thing.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Yeah, because too, like a lot of guys that I encounter with or just start at the talking stage. They're like, nah, I guess like I want someone accountable because I'm very accountable with my business and stuff that I enjoy doing. Yes. And most people most guys are scared of that.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Like, I don't know why they don't want to be with ambitious women. Yeah. Um, but it's just very weird that they are scared or intimidated by women that are ambitious. Like, why would you not want to be with someone that helps you grow? Yeah. Like, why would you just want to stay comfortable in where you're at right now? Like, you should want to be successful and grow with your partner. Yes. Because then, too, people now and like now that I'm like back out there and trying, like, they want to be chaste. Like, they don't want to pursue the women anymore. They want to be chaste, they want us to pursue them. Yes. So then it's like harder to be in a relationship with a guy because it's or like, of course, too, you don't want to put your eggs in all in one basket. No. So until you like find that person you're actually.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

Yeah, because you can date multiple people. Yeah. And that's a problem, too. Some people think dating, oh my god, you're dating three people? Ew, that's nasty. Dating and sleeping with someone are two totally different things. Exactly. But unfortunately, that's how everybody's brain is right now. They hear the word dating, oh, they must be having sex. No, it doesn't mean that. So, yes, you can date two or three people at different times, have meals with them, have coffee with them, meet them at the movies, whatever the case may be. Yeah. So, like, get to know their friends and their family and things like that. That's another thing, too. So important. If they don't have friends or like a group they're a part of, that's a red flag. Yeah. Um, if they're, oh, can't stand my mom, oh, can't stand my sister, can't if they can't stand the women in their family, that's a red flag. So there's like certain things you do have to look out for and things like that. Don't get me wrong, a sister and your mom are gonna irritate you and get on your nerves. But if you don't want to be around them for anything, celebrate them, yes, and don't respect them, then yeah. So that that's yeah. So it's it's good to, you know, go on to, I would say three, four dates, and then hey, I'm gonna be hanging with my friends this weekend. You want to come along, and that is fine. Yes. Never forget um everyone, my friends love the story with uh Andrew. We were going to my girlfriend's daughter's high school graduation, and Andrew and I were just talking, yeah, and it was in Westchester, and he's like, Well, where are you gonna be? What are you doing? I was like, I'm at high school graduation. Well, can I come? I'm like, I mean, it's outside, and her and I are really close friends, like it should be fine. I mean, sure, you could show up. Oh, he was there in a heartbeat, in a heartbeat, heartbeat, heartbeat. And then my other friend, it wasn't that was there, it wasn't her part, her daughter's party, but my other friend that was there, her husband was like, beeline right to him. So you're talking to Ra? What's your name? What do you do? Where are you from? It was just so, so funny. So a lot of them talk about that because that was really their first interaction with him. Yeah. First time meeting him, and at the time I called him my person. Okay. So yeah, so he was my person, but I do remember that. But I love that he wanted to see who I was around, my type of people, things like that. Like if he was initiating that, wasn't too afraid, and was, you know, very excited to do so. And my friends were like, who's this? Oh, he's brave. He's just coming here.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

This is a initiating being around friends, like yeah, yeah, those are the things you want to say. They will show up and put effort into everything. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Yes, they definitely will. Definitely will. That's awesome. Alrighty. Um, kindness needs to be shown. Um, I mean, we kind of talked about that already. I feel like, you know, I've been through the ringer with several relationships. Um, not everybody was not always kind. I will say this too. The um some of the people who were kinder to me, and the reason probably why I stayed were the parents. When you just love the parents more than the person. Oh. That is I still miss some parents. I still deal with a happily married woman. Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws, but there are some parents I do still miss. Like, I'm just like, oh, I wonder what they're doing. I wonder how they're doing. Only because we built a great relationship, talking-wise, and things like that. So, like, that part was definitely, definitely hard.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

Hard one for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:39

And you, and then you hope that whoever you find, you love the family just as much as you love the person. Because it's just so much easier. It like truly, truly is. So, yeah. So much easier. So much easier. You know, we can get along with everybody and just have a good time with everybody. And hey, you know, I need to go run an errand. You cool staying here? Oh yeah, your sister and I are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, or whatever the case may be. So I just I just love that part. Love that part. Um, pregnancy relationships. I was pregnant in relationships. Were they even relationships? Talking about myself, so I can say it. Um, it is what it is. That's the past. But they did try to make them work, at least two of them.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

The other one was iffy, but I didn't want that. So I'm just like, whatever. So I will say, anyone who's gotten pregnant, if you're still with that person, y'all are thriving. Kudos to you. Snap, snap. Um, if if it did click, click.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

Clock it.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

Oh, sorry, clock it. You guys should see us. One day we'll do a YouTube video. Um, so yeah, so kudos to that. For me, it did not work out. Like Tacity was saying, I am very headstrong. If I can do it, you can do it too. There's no excuses. So I would never forget when I had you. You're no fun anymore. You don't do anything spontaneous. Like, you're I I I have I have a kid. I was like, I have to take care of this thing, this thing right here, this little thing. Like, I can't just drop and leave and just go. Like, she depends on me. I have to do that. So it was it was hard, it was fun, it got easier. But yeah, pregnancy, relationships, it's really, really hard. Do you stay with the person just because you got pregnant? You know, some people unfortunately, you know, may choose to not, you know, keep the pregnancy, and that is your full decision. So it is, it's really, really hard when that comes. That's why it's very important to have protective sex. Please do. Speaking from you know, experience here. So, yes. All right, so if you could go on your ideal date from beginning to end, whether it's a morning thing, an afternoon thing, or evening thing, what would you pick first? What time of day would you pick? I would pick very first date. All you saw was pictures, you were on an app, you said yes, and what time of day would you pick?

SPEAKER_00 21:10

During the day.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

During the day. So are we doing like one to three? Yeah. Okay, alright. So you're picking during the day. It's a beautiful, nice spring day, the sun is shining, it's 72 degrees. What are you wearing?

SPEAKER_00 21:24

Jeans and a nice cute top.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

So jeans, cute top, and what kind of footwear are you wearing? Um, I would wear sandals. Sandals, okay. Alrighty. So it is during the day, beautiful day, one to three. We have jeans. Did you say a tank top? I said a cute top. Oh, sorry, a cute top and sandals. Okay. Where are you meeting this person at? Are you going to a bookstore? Are you going to a coffee shop? Are you going to a restaurant? Are you going bowling? Are you going skating? Are you going mini-golfing? What are you doing?

unknown 21:58

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

I would want to do mini golf. Okay. So that's your mini golf. Why would you choose mini golf? Because I enjoy mini golf and I'm very competitive when it comes to mini golf.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Would you be conversating during this time? Yes. Gotcha. Is it do you think mini golf is an easy um location to conversate and have fun?

SPEAKER_00 22:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

I would say that's easy. Bowling would be easy to communicate. The movies, no, because you need to be silent. Yes. Um, I don't really like doing dates while in a restaurant because then I have food in my mouth and we're talking. It's a lot. But I also like my ideal date though. Okay. Would be like a drive-in movie. Or not around here.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Or lantern festival. I've always wanted to do the lantern festival.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

But I feel like a lantern festival is like, I don't know, with someone you know, not someone you first just met. Because aren't you like, don't you like put it up in remembrance of someone? I could be wrong. Don't you put it up in remembrance of someone or something like that? Or like you do it with a loved one. I don't. That's different. I'm not knocking your first date, but I was just saying.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

No, that's my ideal date. Sorry, your idea. Sorry, ideal date.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

It's really good. Oh, okay. Okay, but okay. Alright, so sorry. Okay, you're right. Answer both. Yeah, you're right. You're right. So it was You're right. Okay. So gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. So we're doing mini golf, you're talking, and things like that. Okay. So I like the mini golf one, and it's local to us. We got a couple places. Yes. And then the idea date was the lantern or drive. Okay. Both not around here. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Driving movies, I I missed that.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

Yeah, you gotta work real hard for that date. Yeah, okay. Like that's like him doing his research and playing the day. So we to that.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Okay, so are you in your conversations leading up to that? Are you giving clues? Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. You're gonna like say those things, and then oh, that could be the one where he asks to be your um, can I be your boyfriend? Yeah. Look at that. Oh, that would be beautiful. Yeah. Gotcha. First date ideal date. Got it, got it. Bam. Alright. What does love feel like to you? And not, you don't have to say, I know we're doing dating then versus now. Yeah, but Okay. I I got it. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

So what I what I was thinking, she said, what is love to me?

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Yes. What does love feel? What does love feel like to you?

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Well, I only know love really from my mother. I love love. So, like our relationship, I know what love is because you do things without me asking. You buy me things without me asking. Like when I say, oh my god, like I saw this sweatshirt, I really wanted it. It's kind of like you, then you add it to like a note or something, and then later on you get it for Christmas or my birthday. Just like those things, like when I really want to go to a concert or like a trip or something like that, like you always like are like giving me that reassurance of love. I appreciate that. Thank you so much. No problem. Friendships are harder because I tend to always do do do do do. Yeah. And like when it's my turn to be loved and poured on, it's like not reciprocated. Not reciprocated as much as I want it to be, but I still love it and I appreciate it. Yeah. Um, but relationships that I've had You don't know what that is because you haven't had one. Really don't know what that is.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

And it it's hard, and I do understand, but I definitely hope that I've loved all three of you the same, but they would argue.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

Um, but yeah, so and I get that. So if you know what real love is like, because my mother gave it to me, then you know how to give it to others. And then sometimes we give too much and we don't get enough back. Yes. And then you know, our cup is overflowing, overflowing, overflowing, and no one's catching it to return it to us. They're just letting it fall and keep it moving. So I do understand what you mean by that.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

And just like the simplest things of when I text you, reply back.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

Because I'm like, everyone's always on their phone.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Everybody is, everybody is.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

No matter how busy you are, if you truly care about that person and want to continue your relationship, you will answer them.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

Even if it's later in the day. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Because we don't know what you're doing, but just reply back. The fun thing is, if you have an iPhone, I can say that. You can read it, you can like hold it, highlight it, it pops up, then it's still not marked as red. Or you can slide one direction and mark it as not red so that you can see it later. There's so many different things with technology. I don't know what androids do. I don't know what androids do. Um, but what does love feel like for me? Appreciation, respect, and um patience. I should have used, but I explained. Yeah, yeah, because those things come, and that's for everything with my husband, with my kids, co-workers, like that's relationships all in general, but I know our focus is dating, which of course we get off track or whatever, but I feel like those three things are key because then you feel, you know, you feel all that. So yeah, that that could be, you know, a different one.

SPEAKER_00 27:41

Definitely appreciate it, and I love when like people show up for me.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

Yeah, yeah. Because that's awesome. So here's a different one. So that's what it feels like. Uh maybe I got this wrong. What does it look like?

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Is that well, when it looked like I explained it the love that you gotcha.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Yes, you did explain that. So that's what it looks like. Okay. Um, can I explain how it looks? Yes. Thank you. I don't like I don't know what you're asking, but yeah. I'm asking myself out loud, even though we're having this conversation. But like, what does it look like? Ooh, what do they call them? Love language. Love language. Okay, I was looking for it. There we go. I got the hook. That's what it looks like to me. My love language is acts of service and gifts. So today, Tassiday did one of my love languages. Acts of service, she cleaned the house for me. Yeah, I don't want her to. She sweat mopped, vacuumed, shook rubbed, dusted, moved the cow. Yes, like she did it all. Like that is love for me. Like that brings me joy. And like the gifts, and I'm not looking for watches and sunglasses and things like that. You can get me a bag of candy and I'm happy. You can, you know, bring me ice cream home. Oh, love cards. You go to Dollar Tree, two for a dollar, and you can get me cards. They should sponsor us, and I'm only kidding. Um, you can get me cards. So, like, yes, so that's what love looks like for me. The love languages. Um, listeners, have you ever taken the love language test? You should Google it, you should look it up. It's really, really cool, especially if you're in a loving relationship. Yes. If you feel as though that your partner, husband, wife, whatever you label the person is not loving you good enough, the love languages will help you so that you can help them love on you. So, which is really, really good. Um, being truly loved, what does that feel like? You've already explained that because you fill that with me. So, which is really, really nice, which is really, really cool. Um, I will say that my aunt, God rest her soul, and my uncle Tony, um, those were the ones, because my mom worked and worked and worked, those two were the ones that were around more. Yeah, nothing against my mom. She had to do what she needed to do to provide for us. But those they were my roll dogs, is who I was with. In the car with them, doing things, going places. So being truly loved by them, like I felt that. My mom was more of, do you want to go out to eat? Rod, do you want clothes? And she was that way until she went home to Lord Jesus. Uh-huh. Oh my goodness. She was always, I can feed you. Do you want that? I'm like, mom, no. Always giving money for food and clothes. Always. I'm like, and two, once your parents get older, you for me, I just want to spend time. Like, I'm like, mom, I don't need that. Time is everything. Yes. I'm like, I don't need that. Like, let's just sit here, let's just do this. So, you know, that's what the whole thing is. But for her, going out shopping when I was younger, we were spending time together doing things. Sitting at a restaurant eating, we were spending time doing things, talking, carrying on and laughing. And then we had no cell phones, so we had to have conversations at the table.

SPEAKER_02 31:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:05

So, you know, giving that love obviously allowed me to give that love to my children, to give love to my husband. So, dating comes in all forms and fashion because it I feel like it starts with how you're raised, it starts with how you're going to implement how you were raised, taking it into that relationship and just growing from that and getting taking the time to get to know the person, taking the time to listen to them and all those things. But dating is is a challenge.

SPEAKER_00 31:36

And I think too, dating is just not about dating someone else and having a partner. It's also important to date yourself. Oh, yes. Like spend time with spend time with yourself. If you love to read, read a book. If you want to go to the beach for the day by yourself, go to the beach. If you want to go out to breakfast, lunch, or dinner by yourself, do it. Yeah. Like, don't feel ashamed to do things alone and by yourself. Like, you learn more about yourself as I have enjoyed learning more about myself over these past years. Um, I enjoy dating myself, so getting my nails done, my hair done. Like, you have to spoil yourself because you're better in relationships when you love yourself.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:15

So I agree with that completely. I still make sure I do things with myself by myself. I was an only child, and I still love being by myself. Um, but yeah, so no, those are all important things. Well, hopefully, this helped you. Hopefully, this guides you made you laugh, made you think. May you want to replay it, send it to somebody, like, see, this is what I was talking about, or whatever the case is. But we thank you for listening.

SPEAKER_00 32:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

We want you to know that you are loved, you are valued, and you are never alone. This is the bond beyond where connection grows deeper than words.